guests

what's the deal with guests?

i don't mean that in a jerry seinfeld-esque way to set myself up for a joke. i actually want to know do people mind if someone stays over (especially when that someone is chaim bar-eli)

"In-Shabbos", Parking, Girls soccer team

In Shabbos:
I am excited about this weeks "in-shabbos" it will be reminiscent of Yeshiva (Rachmana nitzlan)!

A few shylas:

1) Will we be having all meals in?
2) Can we please go to Mt. Sinai for services?
3) Can Zimilover give a dvar torah?

Parking:
I got a $115 dollar ticket this morning because some mamzer parked in my spot! If anyone finds out who that bufu artist is let me know. If this person is you please reveal yourself so I can break you face! In the meantime please feel free to defecate on all cars that are in my spot that are not mine! Shkoyach!

PS - Zimilover has graciously decided to pay my ticket for me. Kol hakavod Zimilover!

Girls Soccer Team:
If there is a New Years party tomorrow night with the girls soccer team, kindly refrain from entering my dungeon and keep the smooching, drinking, and weed smoking to a minimum. Also, please have the party end by 1:30am!

-Me

PS - Douek, I'm going to swing by your room a bit later to pick up a couple bottles of that new cream you have been raving about! I think YUGST will appreciate it!

Review of Adaptation

Charlie Kaufman has made a career out of writing surrealist, reflexive screenplays, and by now he pretty much owns the genre that has spawned such mimicry as Stranger Than Fiction and Science of Sleep. Kaufman remains the master, and it is a mastery no better epitomized than by his 2002 work Adaptation. If you thought it's hard to write a movie about flowers, you're not alone, and Kaufman had little in the way of a springboard to work off of, seeing as there's never been a movie written about flowers. ("Flowers for Algernon," suggests dull but sincere twin brother Donald. "That's not a movie," replies Charlie, "and it's not about flowers.) Precedential paucity proved no obstacle, hardly surprising for the most original writer in Hollywood. Kaufman simply wrote himself into the script, focusing on his own struggles in trying to adapt Susan Orlean's book "The Orchid Thief." Solipsistic is how Charlie, played by Oscar-nominated Nic Cage, describes the idea when it first occurs to him. Maybe so, but Kaufman pulls it off easily, helped by Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper, who also got Oscar nominations. After Being John Malkovich, Kaufman suffered no creativity slump, hammering out Adaptation, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind in a span of five years. I recommend Adaptation and Eternal Sunshine. Four stars.

Chanuka Parte'

Photos of the Chanukah parte' are now up on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30600586&l=13d8c&id=52601606

enjoy,

Jarowl

Jarowl

Dear Friends,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Elliot. I am a 23 year old single male. I am in my 6th year at Yeshiva University and I hope to one day graduate. Upon graduating, I plan to apply for jobs in the field of gardening or human resources.

Applying for human resource jobs is a funny endeavor being that you need to go through human resources to apply. I imagine they may feel somewhat intimidated by an applicant that is applying for their very job. There must be many lost applications for human resource personnel. Human resources is also the only job a Psychology major could get unless he spends his adult life in graduate school - So I may be screwed. But being jobless is so in these days.

If you are wondering why my pen-name is Jarowl, I will tell you. Listen. In my intro to Psych class in the 12th grade, my teacher, Rabbi Dr. Shimmel, an absurdly interesting and brilliant individual, brought in a book of obscure words of the English language. One of the words was "jarowl." Definition: "The European goatsucker."

I thought, and still think, this is the best word ever. It can be found in those big Oxford English Dictionaries that must weigh 16 pounds.They usually lie beneath a sheet of dust that resembles the lint in the dryer filter. Look; the word is there.

What exactly is the European goatsucker. I have done some research and there is little literature on the matter. I either read or made up the following: In small English villages in the 12th Century goat farmers whose goats were not giving adequate milk believed that tiny owls that lived in glass jars at night would fly into the goat pasteur and suck the milk out of their goats.

I could relate to these owls. I often feel like stealing and drinking exotic milk - like Joey's soy milk (I'll get you back, Joe, I promise.) Living in a jar would also allow me to save money on rent. But don't worry guys, I'd never leave you.

I also feel like an owl sometime. Despite being as insightful as a bird, I like to be perceived as wise. I can't really sleep at night. I ask a lot of questions.(who?)

I apologize for the corny joke. This is my first post, and I am a bit nervous.

Friends, I wish you much luck in all of your future endeavors. If any of you one day need a job I may be in human resources so I could hook y'all up. Or, if I turn out to be a Gardener, and you happen to be in need of a particular vegetable, you know my number.

Love,

Jarowl (Yisroel Chaim, Elliot Michael, Combo, Kaminetzky III)

Keep on Fighting

Including today, we only have four days left to reach our goal of 250,00 viewers. Since we are already at 81, that's a measly 249,919 views left. As the great Herm Edwards once said, "We can build on this!" So keep telling your friends, and keep hitting F5. This is going to be huge!

Zimilover/Chanukah Party

Fellow 15 Washington Terracers,

Great Chanuka party last night! There is an excellent chance that I found my bashert given all the meidels! My only regret is that more girls from the soccer team didn't show up. Drew, Douek, & Yirmi (aka Zimilover) love the soccer girls and they were strongly disappointed with the lack of them as well.

What else is new? Hmmmm...no shidduch dates coming up this week for me so if someone can help me out on that front that would be great!

Request: There were some buchrim last night who were partying with several of the soccer girls. There was a lot of squeeling and drunken yelling...kindly refrain from this type of activity at 1am since I do not have a door to my room and all noise from upstairs is quite audible! On the bright side, these two gentelman did a PHENOMENAL job keeping the lights off last night! Kol hakavod and keep up the great work!

Have a haimish shabbos and may we all be zoche to build a bayis ne'eman biyisroel...Amen!

Bros Before Hos?

Left off Rolling Stone's list of 100 best guitarists ever were Slash, Richie Sambora, and Allen Collins. All three of these players are more talented than Joan Jett and Joni Mitchell, but in today's PC climate, Rolling Stone couldn't afford to leave the list devoid of female rockers. Shame on them for bowing to the feminist agenda and depriving worthier guitarists of their rightful place in rock history. We are all worse for it.

Some gems contributed to mankind by our underappreciated aforementioned trio include the solos in November Rain, Estranged, Sweet Child o' Mine, Freebird, That Smell, Living on a Prayer, and the underrated Dry County. All Joni Mitchell left us was bad art.

Fighting Global Warming Alarmism

This from Walter E. Williams' latest column:

The scientists [fighting Global Warming alarmism] include Ivar Giaever, Nobel Laureate in physics, who said, "I am a skeptic … Global warming has become a new religion." Dr. Kiminori Itoh, an environmental physical chemist, said warming fears are the "worst scientific scandal in the history … When people come to know what the truth is, they will feel deceived by science and scientists." "So far, real measurements give no ground for concern about a catastrophic future warming," said Dr. Jarl R. Ahlbeck, a chemical engineer at Abo Akademi University in Finland, author of 200 scientific publications and former Greenpeace member. Atmospheric physicist James A. Peden, formerly of the Space Research and Coordination Center in Pittsburgh, said, "Many (scientists) are now searching for a way to back out quietly (from promoting warming fears), without having their professional careers ruined."

MSNBC has been trying to nab these guys for interviews for years, but they just refuse to let their voices be heard in the maintsream media (JK).

Blog of the Year

Our goal is 250,000 by years end. This is going to be huge!

Oil Bill

Speaking of heat, once again the oil bill is $58.13. If you have not already paid, please do so by Friday, so that I can deposit the checks and then pay the bill.

heat

for those who keep putting the thermostat on 70+ degrees (yes, 70), if your heater doesn't produce heat at 65 or 70 degrees, your heater will not produce heat at higher temperatures. either get a plug in heater, a sweater, or grow a pair. 

Idiot Sports Commentator #1

Mike Celizic, writing for MSNBC.com, said about Robinson Cano's 2008: "[he] needed a feverish run at the end of the season to get his average up to .271." What really happened was that Cano batted .151 through April, then .297 from May till season's end. Cano's monthly batting-average breakdown starting with May: .295, .287, .327, .290, .287. So if you consider .297 "feverish" and the last five months of the season "the end," then yes, Celizic is right. Incidentally, .297 is .006 points below Cano's career average. So for everyone saying that he suddenly starting sucking last year, calm the heck down. Also, can someone read the terms and conditions and let me know if Google lets you curse on here?

10 Bathroom Commandments

If you use the third-floor bathroom, you will follow these 10 rules, or else:

1) Turn off the light when you leave.
2) Clean up your facial hair after shaving.
3) Flush the toilet after use.
4) After showering, turn off all three knobs, not just the outer two.
5) Do not leave smelly clothes hanging anywhere.
6) Throw away your empty bottles when they're done.
7) Don't get the floor or chair wet when leaving the shower; dry off in the shower if need be.
8) Only pee with the seat up.
9) Leave the front right portion of the sink uncluttered and dry.
10) Throw away the toilet-paper cylinder if you finish off the roll.